Saturday, October 3, 2015
Yesterday went to find mummy have dinner together. Mummy asked me what exactly happen the day before yesterday. I told her that once his mum come back give me black face then slowly give me attitude then I can't take it anymore my temper start to boil and she slam door, close drawer loudly. That's when I texted mummy and told her I can't take it anymore I want move over to grandma place. Then mummy call me and ask me need her come down, I told her yes. Mummy ytd told me she couldn't sleep well as she's worried about me. She also told me that actually my aunts and uncle want come with her as they ask my mummy what happen. She told them his mum give me attitude problem again. They were so angry about how much his mum treat me as if I don't have any families member to be there for me. I heard what my mummy told me I was about to burst into tears but I hold on to it as bf was about to come.. Mummy know that I can't take it anymore keep telling me not to care about what his mum saying just ignore and think that she's having menopause. I did think that way but she's pushing the limit to the extend that I really have to fight back on my own. Yesterday mummy told bf that he and I should go take BTO flat, at that point I was thinking "oh no, mummy please don't say anymore. I don't have the thoughts of continue this anymore."
Now what I'm thinking is once I start working I will save up and if I could get a flat of my own I would. I rather stay single than take my future as a joke. Thinking of marriage now make me think twice and thrice as its a serious matter as once you're married you can't blame anyone and if married not long want a divorce I rather don't want this kind of things happen. I would rather stay single than marriage. God I really feel like escaping. I won't go back home or find any of my friends or families. I will not let any of them come find me. I need a place to be alone. Of course thinking of money wise I have to work too but not to let them found me I'm crashing my mind.. Damn life!
♥130411, you took my breathe away when our lips touches each other
7:04 PM
Wonder what should I post.. Mummy texted me and ask is everything settle?.. I told her I didn't really tell my bf what's really happening last night.. I told mummy I regret what choice I make and now everything is too late.. Mummy told me there can't be regret only have learning in life. Whatever I do right now is just thinking for them not myself. I have to take step by step out by myself as the choice is make by me. I can't blame anyone for that but myself. If three years plus back I didn't listen to my friend who told me to be with current bf, things won't be like this anymore.. All those regret will make me fall deepen down to blame myself. Why I can't I just wait patiently for you and just consider it too?.. Foolish me. Now I'm too late to realize everything. God why you making me so regretful..
-I want to continue the conversation with you
but the more we talk I'm not sure how will you think.
Once the conversation getting shorter and shorter,
I ask myself will it stop again?
Talk to you always give me a type of..
I don't know how to describe it..-
♥130411, you took my breathe away when our lips touches each other
12:36 AM
Thursday, October 1, 2015
How I wish mummy is here listening to what's troubling me so much and give me advice about it.. I really couldn't stop the thoughts. It's making me thinking more and more each day when I told myself I should not. Why am I not letting it go. And soon another stress coming to me. Not sure when and what will happen. If I could escape away from all this problem I really would. But this is part of life process.. If things goes the way I wanted it will already work long time ago..
Blog is my only way to write what I want. But sometimes I have to stop writing it for a reason.
♥130411, you took my breathe away when our lips touches each other
12:04 AM
Monday, September 21, 2015
Boyfriend <3!!