Always Smile ♥Run

Sunday, May 29, 2011

AGAIN AGAIN 5DAYS didn't update le!!!! aiyoyo!! this five days was busy i think? LOL! mm... lets start from 25 May, Wednesday.. have a test in the afternoon.. after test i go home right away.. don't feel like going to out on that few days because i have lost my card at that few days.. so until Thursday i was so anxious to make my new ezlink but at the end i don't have my ic with me so i was quite angry at that time.. i immediately message my mother and tell her.. she fucking make my mood worst.. i just hide my anger behind the smile... i have to act happy in front of everyone of my friends.. i hate how much i'm so angry with my parents.. they don't even suit to be a parents lor!! fuck them, nbccb, knn!! i just hope how rebellious i am.. i should just be a bad girl back to 8-7 years.. i could be as bad as now.. but i choose not to be.. this is why now i still have that soft heart at this fucking cb family.. after made finish my ezlink card go all the way to serangoon with mummy and stay over at there.. 27 May, Friday.. wake up at about 12pm plus then prepared to go out and meet my baby boy.. out my stuff at my baby boys house after that night time go to his friend birthday party.. after going to his friend birthday party, i realize i'm the only girl.. :x about 10pm we all go take cab.. baby's friends went to clubbing.. me and baby go back to his house!! i remember the 1st time i go his house i was very nervous that i might saw his family members but slowly i go to his house more and more.. it feel like it's my home too.. but still abit shy too :x 28 May, Saturday.. morning wake up and open my eyes.. happy to see my baby boy beside me!! it's feel as if like we live there like husband and wife forever!! :x about afternoon went to bugis iluma watch movie with baby!! we shop around but never shop that long because it's feel like nothing much to shop.. :x after that about 6pm plus to 7pm like that go back to baby house.. was actually going to serangoon there stay over at mummy there but i can't bear to be apart from my baby!! :x slowly i cry out in front of baby!! the first time i can't hold my tears any longer!! baby say he was heart pain to see me cry.. he asked me to "shh" so i stop crying.. :x after i ask mummy again can stay over at baby house she say can.. i was so happy that i hug my baby!! after that not long, baby de parents came back home.. finally saw all baby de family le.. :x after that baby play his game.. this two days at baby house stay.. he keep play his game!! i wanted to stop him from playing but.. see he play till so happy jiu never stop him lor.. but my heart really wanted to stop him from playing his game.. slowly i fall asleep.. after that i wake up again when baby stop playing and lying beside me.. :x 29 May which is today, me and baby wake up very late!! i wake up first then baby this pig then wake up!! after that baby order mac.. we have mac as our lunch and breakfast.. about 5pm plus leave baby house then go to serangoon meet mummy, yi ma, yi zhan and ah ma to have dinner.. after that reaches serangoon, baby walk to stadium to have his game.. me and mummy they all have dinner at ECP!! about 8pm came back to serangoon to take my lappy then go NEX shop for my brother de camp things.. can't find jiu go take train back home lor.. wasn't happy with my mother because she keep at there nag!! she know very well that i hate naggers and she still nag!! she make my mood so down.. she's the second person who disappoint me too.. once i reach home i on my com.. check my history and see what my mother have used my com for.. i realize she did check something but she watch p*** on my com!! i hate both my parents!! they make my life so painful!! i want to cry again!! how i wish i could cry everything out but everything that my parents did wasn't even a parents should do!! they are not even suit to be a parents at all!! my father treat us like a money machine.. haix.. don't want say le!! I LOVE YOU, baby! :)

xoxo,

Joyce

♥130411, you took my breathe away when our lips touches each other

8:12 AM

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

again!!! 5 days i never update my blog already!! lazy to update!! :x 20 May, Friday doing NYAA stuff.. morning wake up at am plus go play basketball then go swimming!! 21 May, Saturday didn't go for badminton because the training haven't even start!! so i prepare go out to my baby boy house.. after go his house we go serangoon's NEX there watch movie.. actually going to friend birthday party but i don't feel like because go there also not fun at all.. don't even know much of them.. after movie actually planning to stay overnight at baby there de but at the end i ps him and stay at grandmother house which is near NEX there.. feel very bad to ps my baby boy and every time we have date at serangoon there sure my mother would say meet go eat or go up to my grandmother there sit awhile then go.. 22 May, Sunday slept till 10.34am like that.. bath then go out have breakfast with mummy at NEX.. then shop shop at NEX for awhile then go back to grandmother house wait for cousin and si yi to call us then we head out to meet them to go town.. when to town shop shop and talk talk.. mummy and si yi friend came to meet us.. that friend is one of their old neighbor.. they asked me and my cousin to call her "ah yi".. hmm.. was a bit weird.. but okay okay la.. 23 May, Monday which was yesterday wake up at about 7am.. prepared too fast for school so leave house early to school.. lesson was stress!! i haven't do finish my IFIA major project!! i re-do it because the previous one couldn't be shown! :( after IFIA lesson we all went to have our lunch at 7-Eleven.. after that went to change into swimsuit to go for PE lesson.. have a lot of fun during PE swimming lesson but i have sunburn on my face i guess? i have 2 skin tone.. :x after swimming we went to lot 1 awhile then head to causeway point watch movie which the movie i already watch before but i watch again.. after the movie we went to arcade for awhile then went to eat dinner.. after finishing dinner i found my ezlink was lost!! i search and search.. but couldn't find it!! so buy one way ticket back to cck.. walk back home instead of taking bus!! i was like going to cried when walking back home.. :x once reach home my mood was not that good because of my ezlink lost!! :'( after that baby message me and u almost cried out but i didn't.. i'm simply very lucky to have such a nice boyfriend!! today woke up late a bit!! reach school at about 8.10am.. my friend they all know i was still sad over my ezlink lost!! after that i at class sneeze none stop.. think is the coldness make me sneeze bahs? after that the whole day my nose tap keep on running!! feel a bit sick but was okay okay.. after school went to lot 1 slack awhile.. after that walk back home again!! haiz.. no ezlink is like that.. :( that's all i'm going to post.. :) I LOVE MY BABY BOY LOTS!! :D I MISS YOU!!

xoxo,
Joyce

♥130411, you took my breathe away when our lips touches each other

4:01 AM

Thursday, May 19, 2011

everything change since yesterday.. i still can't really face how things turn out.. i'm the one creating the trouble and i'm the want who make things fuse up.. i can't stop thinking how much yesterday could hurt my emotional badly.. today i just faking a smile to school.. didn't actually wish to go school but i have to face everything that have been happening.. i'm lucky to have this few friends but things just turn out to be not good.. it's all about nyaa thing that we are fought over.. it's never a good days for us when we discussed about it.. i'm thinking of quitting it is because of this reason and family problem.. i have totally give up on things easily this year.. afternoon when we having our lunch at lot 1, food junction.. all was happy except Darrien is the one who has that emo face and this time i feel irritated by Eileen! seriously i hate how's the way she speak!! she just like want big gangster.. i feel like scolding her right away when she's saying about Pei Ni, Darrien, Siew Ping and others.. she just fucking irritated me so much that i have been tolerating.. today the whole day, my mind are in a mess.. i can't think of any idea of what to do for the major project for MDIF.. and my IFIA project is in a mess too! i'm petty much stress up in everything.. my dear boyfriend is sick and i can't take care of him.. feel bad, hope he faster recover!! he's stress for his school work too.. we both are stress! :x haix.. tomorrow morning going to do nyaa thing.. going to play basketball and swimming after that! nothing to post anymore! bye~ :)

xoxo,
Joyce

♥130411, you took my breathe away when our lips touches each other

8:15 AM

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

again, never update my blog for 5days! this few days a lot of things happen.. first is NYAA and last is family.. i freaking hate how much people alway want to bring my my past again.. why can't they just let things off just like this?! i have been trying real hard to forget everything that had been happening within that 8 years of my parents separation.. within that 8 years i'm the only one who knows what's exactly has been happening when my parents separate.. father came back home late most of the time.. at that time i was suspecting he have an affair outside.. another problem is mother move out to stay with some stranger which she's helping to work for to sells clothes.. mostly that time mother and that stranger came to school bring me to stay overnight at the stranger house.. i slept in the same room as mother and that stranger... i know that stranger did something to my mother which i don't want to say.. it's so ridiculous how my parents can be.. at that 8 years of time, i was being disrespect by my brother and was treated like a shit by my father and grandma.. my uncle and auntie they all did tell me some of the things which i don't know.. before my mother married to my father, she already have me.. actually my father was with a lady which they was steady together for quite a long time but suddenly my uncle they all was shocked that my father is going to married my mother wouldn't telling everyone that they are getting married because my mother have me..and say when my mother married into this family, my grandma seems to start telling lies.. because my uncle told me one morning my mother bring me to town at the very early morning.. he call and asked my grandma to make sure he got see wrong or not.. but i think grandma didn't check whether me and mother go out at that time so she just say we are at home.. within that 8 years i also trying to ask my mother that she's very sure i'm fathers' daughter? she asked me not to think to much.. but this question i have been wanting to know.. how i wish at some point of times i didn't agree to give my money to my father and let him paid whatever shit he's owning.. i'm feeling too soft hearted to borrow almost 1-3k plus of my money to my father and grandma.. all they did was taking the money to bet on "4D" or "TOTO".. at some point of time back there, i really did almost wanting to end my life but i just told myself i need to grow up to earn the money back and repay my mother.. my mother is the only one who will give allowance to me and my brother.. she has never fail to not giving us allowance.. my father never did give us but take from us.. i hate how much i live in this family.. my tears just getting dry because i have been holding back my tears for so long.. i lied to them since my mother leave this house.. this has become a habit.. i have trying to change.. only a few friends of mine know what exactly happened to my family..

♥130411, you took my breathe away when our lips touches each other

3:11 AM

Thursday, May 12, 2011

this is to my dearest boyfriend.. dear, i don't know what to say.. but i'm really sorry that i'm so silly just for one small thing i cry.. but my heart just simply hurts when you say that.. sorry, i think i have fall deeper and deeper.. i might not be a good girlfriend but i try my best to be one.. i want to make you don't feel bad but i just did... i want you to forget the past but i just did.. i think i'm a total failure to be your girlfriend.. i hope things won't get any worst.. i have simply make things worst a thousand, million times.. i just feel very sorry and bad.. and i realize i don't know what exactly what my boyfriend like and dislike or what's his favorite stuff.. i never thought that i have gone this far with him and i still don't know that much yet.. but i know people used to say slowly, bits by bits you will know the other well... i hope we would really last long.. this is what i feel.. but at your twitter i saw what you have twitted.. i'm just gonna say it here.. if you really want to give me up, it will hurt a million times than all my ex'es.. i have fall so deep for you and now you seems to regret.. all those words you have told me have you forget?! if you really forget it, it's mean i'm not important to you anymore.. you are fun, caring and nice boyfriend.. if you never came into my life i think i will get hurt more and not knowing what's really is love about.. god make you appear in my life and i don't wish you to disappear... okay now, this is the important point! i will write what i like and dislike here.. hope you read my blog already..

do you know what's the meaning of "xoxo"?

LIKE of everything..

YOU♥♥!
chocolate!
mango!
strawberry
curry chicken
chicken rice
corn soup
dry bean curd soup
satay!!
kuek zhuang (don't know how to spell)

DISLIKE of everything..

naggy!!
carrot!!
pickles!!
got bean de food!!
tomato!!
people saying/keep correct the things i have said..
hate people say themselves..

50-50 of everything (LIKE &DISLIKE)

cucmber
sotong
eh.. i don't know still got what liao.. haiyoyo!! will update once i remember..

hehehe~! don't get angry or laugh too much ar! HAPPY 1MONTH ANNIVERSARY to you dear!! :D

xoxo,

Joyce

♥130411, you took my breathe away when our lips touches each other

8:49 AM

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

today woke up late but went to school on time.. didn't get the chance to meet Ting and Jasmin as i woke up late.. reach class just nice.. today lesson was like slacking only.. this few days or since April intake student came in the canteen had become packed.. everyone have break time at the same time that is on 12pm.. this three day at school, me and my piglet family keep going to each a cup there buy things eat instead of going out eat because 12pm we having our break time then 1pm our next lesson start so no choice only can go each a cup there buy cup noodle or sandwich to eat.. went to care session while waiting for another class finish using the lab room we all was like waiting outside and actually there's this brunch of my Indian girl classmate wanted to steal our seat and they have been sitting there when we late a step of them to sat there.. was quite angry with them that they sit at our place.. after care session is Terrence lesson.. lesson till 3pm end actual timing was 5pm then end but every time we end earlier.. after the lesson end all of us go home.. once i reach home do nothing for 20mins then help my brother cooked Maggie.. after that i use com awhile slowly fall asleep.. now then wake up.. ha ha ha! :x oh ya! this few days went to school wearing spec instead of contact lens! eye was tired so never wear contact lens.. :)

yesterday morning did actually rain! but just rain for awhile the sunny weather came back.. -.-||| was the same as today routine but after school i faster go home bath and change go meet Ting at lot 1 then go bugis meet mummy but was late meeting mummy as Ting and Raymond keep drag the time of mine for meeting my mother.. about 4.30pm then reach bugis.. once reaches bugis faster go find mummy and she's quite tired waiting for so long and was a bit angry if i'm not wrong.. after that mummy need to go so only left me and Ting go shopping! we have lots of fun shopping and went to iluma arcade play.. i finally bought the jubeat card!! yeah!! yesterday did actually get the chance to play it.. yesterday almost the whole day didn't text dear because he need some time alone.. so i didn't text him.. but when i was waiting for bus home he text me! was happy that he feel much better.. he say he's fine already after i have given him some time alone.. about 9pm reach teck whye.. when to help my twins brother buy bubble tea.. once i reach home faster go take out contact lens and go bath.. after that on com chat with dear.. have fun webcam with him.. :x this few days webcam with him till very late!! about 2am plus like that!! i was so fucking tired this few days because i didn't have enough sleep!! :x oops!!

Monday have swimming lesson during PE!! teacher test us again who can swim and who cannot.. so some of us did actually go to the swimmer group and the rest stay at the beginner game.. have fun at the swimmer game because we are like slacking only! LOL!! after swimming faster go bath!! i got 2 different color on my leg!! gosh! after bath finish we went to matrix eat then go library watch movie! watch till 5.30pm like that then go home.. all was so tired!!! mm.. i forget some part of what is happening.. :x

but i will post till here! :)
xoxo,
Joyce

♥130411, you took my breathe away when our lips touches each other

5:28 AM

Sunday, May 8, 2011

didn't update for 5 days already.. pass 5days was quite busy.. let's start from today first..

today morning wake up at 6am faster go bath and wake my father they all up.. after bath finish i still feel tired.. about 7am leave house and go to work.. at the work place there take a few mins and mins of nap.. was dam tired and the weather is dam hot!! can't believe this few days weather are getting more and more hotter!!?? things the global warming is getting more and more worse bahs? after work about 2pm like that go take bus back home with father and brother.. then we went to fair-price before going home.. once reach home i was like slaking awhile then go bath.. bath finish on com and play for awhile then go all the way to serangoon meet mummy and buy my laptop's cooling pad.. about 8pm then go take train back to cck.. when i reach bishan station not long.. dear text me and tell me that this coming Friday he got work.. which is on our 1month back anniversary!! i was so disappointed and almost cry out at there but i was trying to hold my tears.. my eye was red i know.. all the way on the train i keep wanting to cry out.. but i hold back.. i'm throughly disappointed by it.. it's our 1month anniversary!! and he's working.. i know he have no choice because his manager have schedule him work on that day.. but it's really making truly disappointed!!! i want to cry!! :'(

7 May 2011, which i morning also 6am wake up and prepared to go for nyaa.. it's so troublesome!! and this few days i'm really tired to the max.. i know my body have reach to a limit already but i'm pushing myself to work hard on everything.. but i'm really really going to run out of energy!! about 11am meet mummy at cc there's bus stop.. and take bus together to lot 1.. about 12.30pm we leave lot 1 to go NEX and wait for si yi.. we were shopping around and mummy bought 4 new shirt for me and 2 nail polish.. about 4.30pm dear came to serangoon earlier and meet go shop and wait till his game going to start.. at the end when i at grandma house eat mango half way he call and tell me the game has been cancel due to election.. then we went to shop around at NEX with mummy.. about 7pm we leave and go town meet his friend.. about 11.15pm like that take bus home.. dear's friend is so funny!! dear keep ask me "bored a not? bored a not?" i was tired that's why face look bored.. i learn how to play one new game call "Billi bow"..

6 May 2011 , didn't have cca but afternoon go back to school do project.. do till about 5pm leave school with Hua Ying to JP to meet Cui Lin, Meng Zhu and Pei Ni.. we walk awhile later about 6pm plus leave JP.. then i go all the way down to serangoon give mummy some election thing.. doesn't have much things to update for 6 May 2011..

5 May 2011, 4 May 2011 didn't have much thing to post to because was at school that few days.. was very tired and almost fall sick..

that's all i'm going to update.. :)
xoxo,
Joyce

♥130411, you took my breathe away when our lips touches each other

6:44 AM

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

today wake up at 7.05am.. slept about 6-7 hours only!! i need more rest!! my dark eye circle really getting more and more worst!! whole morning don't dare to text dear.. i know he's angry so i don't dare to text him.. wait until about noon time he text me.. actually didn't really know what to reply back but at the end okay already.. dear read my blog.. at first i got this feeling we might quarrel but at the end never because i try to joke around.. :) waiting for teacher come then my contact lens suddenly drop out.. think it's dry so it drop out.. i was sneezing and feel cold.. lucky i got but my jacket if not will freeze die me.. after that about 3pm lesson end.. when to staff room find teacher to take Pei Ni birthday's cake.. my gan jie is 18!! hope she's enjoy her birthday.. think she was moved by us bahs? about 3.30pm then reach home.. once reach home change and go out with Jarreal to help papa paid his bank things.. went to bbp then jurong east.. about 5pm then reach lot and went to library borrow two storybooks.. then go help papa buy this phone protection's thing.. then go popular with Jarreal to buy his pen and my laptop screen cleaner.. then go all the way down to basement to buy bread and bubble tea.. about 6.18pm then reach home.. once reach home on com, take out contact lens and then wait for dear to online.. i miss him lots!! i love him too!! i just simply in love with this guy a lot.. i'm James Wee, property! ^^ no matter what i still love this guy!! 10 more days to our 1 month anniversary! :D

xoxo,
Joyce

♥130411, you took my breathe away when our lips touches each other

7:53 AM

Monday, May 2, 2011

woo!! quite long never update my blog already... have been busy for school and r/s.. been going out with dear a lot.. this few was okay okay.. yesterday bring dear to my great grandma 100 birthday celebration.. quite a lot of relatives i very long never see them already.. when i was call by my childhood nickname my face went hot.. but was fun.. dear was feeling weird because mummy have a lot of relatives.. i don't know what to post for the past 13days.. was lazy to update blog.. sorry..

today went all the way to tiong to meet dear.. i actually never agree to go out with mummy to go cycling because i want spend more time with dear.. at dear house watch TV and see him do his report.. finally see his brother and sister.. his brother was okay.. his sister seems friendly.. about 8pm then go great world there have dinner.. then about 9.20pm then go take bus back home.. while eating dinner, dear actually say he wanted he accompany my mother to cycling and feel bad.. he was like scolding me like that.. i was like going to cry when he say that but i hold back and was silence all the way.. when we broad the bus.. he keep asking am i okay.. i just simply say i'm okay and actually i'm not.. i was angry and wanted to cry.. but i just keeping everything to myself and not letting him know.. i let him worry more and more.. he was so concern about me and worried a lot.. i know he will think something when he go home.. i'm so sorry dear.. it's really good to have such a nice and caring boyfriend like you.. 11 more days to our anniversary.. hope i could think of what to buy for you on our anniversary.. I only love you! miss you! nights and sweet dreams!!

xoxo,
Joyce

♥130411, you took my breathe away when our lips touches each other

8:52 AM