yesterday and today lots of thing happen.. yesterday, while all of us walking around class to see the video our friends have make then suddenly Eileen bang until Darrien ah gong's guitar. we all was so shocked and tell her not to tell Darrien ah gong about it first. when we went to Matrix for break-time to eat. all of us went to order food then when we go back to our seat Cui Lin great grandma and Pei Ni jie say that Darrien ah gong check his guitar and was shocked that his new guitar have broke into 2 and his face was totally black. after that Eileen go tell him that she accidentally broke the guitar when me, Hua Ying and Yan Ni mama came back from buying drinks. after that we all was trying to talk to Darrien ah gong and making him at least smile. lucky at the end he did smile but behind the smile, i could see that he still have that sad and pain that his guitar became like this.. At night time around 11.32pm, baby message me and asked me that "Is it ok if he say he wanna be single?" when he say this words my heart start to sink very very deep down and i could feel my eye are watery and I'm shivering.. I was trying my best to tell myself not to cry but i really can't hold back. At that time I though it was just a dream but it was real! I reply and telling him that "I will just leave him alone and have his single life" but I also begging him not to break up with me.. I was crying so hard and about 4am plus i wake up again to reply him and went back to bed to rest.
Today morning once I reach class outside I just don't know how to face my friends because I'm trying my best to hold my tears until all my piglets friends reached and one of them come in front of me and asked what happen. I just cry in front of them and they asked what happen?.. I didn't say a single words but a few of them somehow guess that it might be r/s problem.. Then I just keep on crying and crying till lesson started after that about 9am plus teacher dismiss us to go have our break. At first when we all walk to Matrix, I don't really feel like eating but I can't just keep on don't eat. I was like stuffing food into my mouth when I already feel full. During the second lesson, I going to start cry again but I try to hold back. Last lesson, I was like half died because I really don't have the mood to laugh as my friends trying to say something funny and make me laugh, I just laugh awhile and goes back to the died face. After last lesson, I accompany Siew Ping to attend the selected winners for 'Azimuth' NDP watch design competition 24 finalist. When the knowing of who winning ends, my school people went to take a group photo with Minister Teo.. I was standing beside him for awhile then stand in front of him. We all went to the refreshment area to see all the design and after that Ting Ting, Newton, Jolin asked me and Siew Ping want go town walk walk or slack awhile then go home? We was like laughing but when I was walking I keep on thinking of baby.. I wanted to message him but I suddenly thoughts of what should I message him? And will he reply back? Baby say "he can't bear to.. he's sorry.. he just love me too much" he did say "on one hand he really don't wanna lose me but on the other.. he really don't know what to do.. he's just so lost." I wanted to say something that "he still have me supporting him remember? And I'm hoping to lead him though the lost way." But I afraid that he would just reject what I'm trying to say or what I want to say. Baby I really really love you, I couldn't let myself letting you go. I'm sorry.
♥130411, you took my breathe away when our lips touches each other
8:36 AM
Boyfriend <3!!
Thursday, August 4, 2011